They don't give it to you because they think you deserve it
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Melody says

When you're on social assistance, it's demeaning. They don't give you the money because they think you deserve it, they give it to you because you're destitute, you've gotten nothing else so they have to give it to you. You're not awarded the money because you're going to do good things with this. You're given the money because if we don't you're going to die and it looks bad on our country's wealth to have all these people dying of hunger - although even with social assistance kids are still hungry.

They have you fill out all these demeaning forms and ask you every detail of your life. And then look at you and go ok, you're poor enough to be here. Good. Now that you're poor enough to be there, you need to work even harder for your money.

Being on social assistance I don't have enough money to make sure my kids have everything they need. I have to split up the months and where I buy things. My kids do have clothes and food and stuff but if I didn't have other people who'd give me clothes, other people who would help support me, I don't think I could make it.

All the furniture in my house was given to me. Maybe there's some plastic chairs that I bought for $2 at a second-hand shop but that's about the closest I've got to purchasing my own furniture. Everything that I have has been given to me because I just cannot pay for it myself. I'm not complaining. I'm really grateful that I have people that I can say this is what I need or they notice I have a need and they give it to me. But I find it a little bit embarrassing at times because I'm not able to say I own this or this is mine.

It's hard to get fruit and vegetables for my kids because they're a little bit pricier. I always have to make sure to buy in season because that's the cheapest but that's not always cheap enough. Sometimes it would be cheaper to buy the packaged peanut butter and crackers instead of buying real peanut butter or a bunch of bananas. It's really frustrating because children need to eat healthy foods to be part of society, just for their natural development and for their brains to grow, for them to be alert in school and to do the things that they need to do. And they can't. The food that I'm able to buy has lost its nutritional value. Foods that have nutritional values are usually 20 cents more expensive. Especially in the inner-city. I'm lucky to live in a suburb but if I lived in the inner-city it would be even more harder because everything is more expensive. Especially fruit and vegetables.

Another part that I find very frustrating is my kids feel that they cannot participate whether in the economy or whatever because they know we don't have the money for it… My kids are in soccer and they know they're sponsored and they're playing with some kids that are not sponsored. They'll overhear the parents ask me, "How are you paying for your kids to go play soccer?" Because they know I'm a single-mom and I've talked about being in university. I'll tell them, "My children are sponsored." When I say that, there's a change, there's a look. My kids pick up on that, and they ask me, "How come they stop talking to you?" I tell them well… they're sitting on the other side of the field.

But I know those other parents are thinking, "My tax dollars are paying for that." I feel like saying yeah but my kids are playing soccer and one day their tax dollars may pay for your kids or your grandkids. It comes back, it comes around. I also feel like saying, you know when money's spent like that it's not going into a big void where you're never going to see those dollars again. This is your tax dollars at work. You should be pleased that my kid is now equal to your child! But that would be a whole other topic.

It's always that feeling of because it's given to you it's not worthy. That bothers me and that's something I'm really working on changing. I think is very important to explain to people but it's also very frustrating to have to.

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